Routine parenting interactions

Dr. Ian M., a friend of ours and psychologist in Winnipeg, Canada, has been teaching his children about the Immanuel approach for life. He has talked to them about the truth that Jesus (Immanuel) is always with us, he has taught them how to perceive the Lord’s presence and establish an interactive connection, he has taught them that they can turn to Jesus and engage with Him as a living person when they encounter difficulties in life, and they have discovered that the Lord can and does respond to them – in their hearts/to their spirits. With this foundation in place, he can easily use the Immanuel approach as part of day to day parenting interactions.

For example, he was at the stove one evening, frying hamburger for dinner, when his four year old daughter, Selah, came into the kitchen and informed him that she needed a drink of juice. When he told her that he would be glad to get her a drink, but that she would have to wait a few minutes until he was done with the hamburger, she responded with, “No, I need a drink of juice right now!” And when he repeated that she would have to wait a few minutes, she began to escalate into tantrum mode, with crying, tears, and increasingly intense demands of “I need a drink now! I need juice right now! I need juice now, now, Now, NOW!”

At this point Ian knelt down in front of his daughter, face to face, eyes to eyes, and said, in a gentle, soft voice, “Honey, would you be willing to ask Jesus what He wants to say to you?” Immediately her crying stopped, and Selah held up her hand towards Ian and said, “okay dad, be quiet.” Not in a harsh way, but more with an intended meaning along the lines of “It’s Jesus’ turn to talk now. Please be quiet so I can hear Him.” She paused, completely still and quiet for maybe ten seconds, and then said, “Jesus said that I need to be patient and I need to wait.” When Ian asked, “Okay, so what are you going to do?” She respond promptly with, “I’m gonna do what Jesus asked me to do, dad – I’m gonna be patient and wait.”

Selah then just stood beside Ian, smiling, watching, and waiting quietly and patiently for him to finish frying the hamburger. It seemed to Ian that Selah continued to perceive Jesus’ lingering presence and feel connected to him as she was waiting, and she seemed quite pleased that she now had what she needed to be able to wait. Quite impressive, really, when you consider that she had to wait five to ten minutes before he was able to get her the juice, and this is a very long time for a four year old who was demanding immediate action only moments earlier.

When Ian shared this story with me, he finished with the comment: “I often ask myself, ‘Why is it so hard to remember to include Jesus into everything, since He’s right there with us?’….As a family, we are working on it. Immanuel – God with us!”

Karl D. Lehman, M.D., personal collection of Immanuel stories